Monkey Mind Games
(Reposted from the Love Without Traffic blog 5/7/24)
Have you ever watched your monkey mind swing from one branch to another, presenting equally convincing evidence for opposing beliefs and choices? When we give the mind creative games to focus on, we can create freedom and choose from a deeper knowingness than its flighty persuasiveness.
Monkey Mind Games
Ever Changing Mind
Dr. Sue Morter's retreat was set to begin in Nosara, but I still hadn't established how I was getting there from Playas del Coco. The monkey mind was playing games; life was responding.
My heart wanted to meet friends at the airport to take the shuttle to The Bodhi Tree with them, as I’d looked forward to doing for months. But my mind vacillated between this plan and hiring a driver to bring me straight from my hotel, due to my knee injury.
I finally opted for the latter, or at least I thought I had — my driver was very late. Was he on “Tico Time” or had there been a miscommunication about my pickup info?
“It’s probably better if he doesn’t show up,” the mind said, fearful the injury would negatively impact my retreat experience.
Moments later it was fretting about getting there late.
The power and WiFi were out at my hotel and staff hadn’t yet arrived, so I couldn’t check on my driver. The mind had plenty of time to convince me that he wasn’t coming. Within a few minutes of his arrival, that same mind was sorry he had shown up.
Luis texted while driving and passed every single car ahead on the two-lane road, sometimes with very little time before oncoming traffic. When we stopped for a restroom, I returned to an empty and unlocked running car - with all my stuff in it.
“This is the best driver a five-star retreat center could come up with?” my mind scoffed with judgment. “Assuming this guy doesn’t get us killed, I’m requesting a refund!"
The retreat began right there, in between judgements and other mind ramblings. I realized that just like the injury, this ride was the experience I was meant to have, whether the mind liked it or not.
The higher and truer version of myself that I’d been getting in closer touch with was showing me just how often I still allowed my mind to govern and dim my life.
Luis returned to the car with a smile that exuded pure joy. Where was mine?
Since Luis and I did not speak or understand enough of one another’s language to hold lengthy conversations, I could be very present with the magical ride through Costa Rica. Instead, I was allowing my mind to hijack my sense of wonder and delight.
Mind Games
The mind wanted to demand that Lois stop driving like a maniac and lock the car if we stopped again. Instead of listening to the mind, or trying to silence it, I lovingly validated its feelings and thanked it for trying to protect me.
Then I gave it a project, to redirect its focus.
“Let’s play a game, mind!" What if you absolutely had to write a positive review of Luis and this ride? What would you put in that?”
“Nada!”
“C’mon, mind! You love games! And you're so good at them. I’ll help you get started. What about the view right now?”
The mind stopped spinning long enough to take in the stunningly gorgeous countryside and begrudgingly began its list. “Luis pointed out monkeys and birds in the trees that I wouldn’t have seen. I mean, he should have had his eyes on the road, but…”
“You can only share the positives in this game, mind. But great start!"
“He stopped at a fruit stand to get mangos, without even having verbalized my craving. And I liked drinking coconut juice right out of the shell. That was super refreshing!”
“Awesome! What else?”
“He probably left the car running to keep the AC on. It is, after all, in the upper 90s. And when he vanished at the rest stop, he was getting us snacks, including my first taste of deliciosa Costa Rican chocolate. Now he’s playing really good music and dancing while driving. He’s highly entertaining!”
As my mind focused on the “good,” Luis began to drive like a pro. This happened just in time for the very bumpy part of the ride I’d been warned about. Other cars and shuttles looked like they were about to fall off the side of the road, but we traversed the bumps and craters with ease. Even the mind felt safe.
I arrived at The Bodhi Tree in one piece, and instead of complaining about the ride, I took Luis’s info for a future one. One week later, I hired him to take me to Bijagua, where he became a tour guide, friend, and hiking companion!
The mind didn’t even mind! Having won the game, it was now a big fan of Luis. But it wasted no time finding something else to protest, as getting to my cabin required 75 stairs each way.
“I need a different room!” the mind insisted. This was pretty convincing. I’d come to terms with the fact that I wasn’t going to make it up and down 108 steps to the shala several times a day for my actual retreat and meals. But getting back and forth to my room wasn’t optional.
In the past, the mind would have convinced me to head straight back down to the lobby to ask for the change. But the awakening self I was learning to think from more frequently made the call.
“This is the cabin we were assigned, mind. Let's at least give it one night. Okay?”
It wasn’t. So, I encouraged it to play another game.
The mind liked a lot about the cabin, which was off to the side. It was very peaceful and quiet and had a private backyard with a hammock. The sun was setting in the distance, which was reflecting beautifully through the trees.
While witnessing the mind's attitude metamorphosizing to a more positive one, I asked again. “Can we give this a shot?”
“Si, amiga. We'll take those stairs one step at a time.”
And so we did, body, mind, and spirit joining forces to create what the mind alone would have deemed impossible. I not only stayed in that wonderful cabin all week, but I also miraculously made it up and down to the shala several times a day.
Stay tuned for the story!
